A Better Standard and Other Thoughts

I’d like to start off with something that has nothing to do with the prompt I have been given and everything to do with the chapters I was to read of Rising to the Call. (In fact, this is so not-on-topic that to my group leader, if you are grading this, feel free to skip down to the prompt below (it’s in italics) :P )

Although I had only read the first 2 chapters before uploading the previous post, the third chapter of this book actually began with the same kind of statements I had made! I loved the name – Do what you are. It is true that this is a very dangerous proposal, for if a man was to, without God, “do as he is”, or “be himself”, then he would quickly end up following his sinful nature in the worst degree (See my post a while back on Tumblr on this subject! http://kelenloth.tumblr.com/post/10033090622/if-you-thought-i-was-reblogging-this-because-of ) BUT if a Christian is to live in Christ and find identity in Him, than this statement is a wonderful idea! Be and do who what and who you are in Christ!

The other thing I wanted to say before moving on to the prompt was this: Sometimes it’s really hard for me to read about calling, especially the calling of people like Einstein or Cultrain or Menuhun (mentioned in the text). It’s hard because I feel so different from them. The book talks so much about answering calling and about how calling should define us and what we do, and all of that, and I’m sitting here going “Wow, all of those amazing people really answered  strong call in their life and that’s amazing… But what if I don’t have a call like that? What if I don’t know what I should be doing? What if I can’t find my strengths or how to use them? What if I don’t feel called to anything at all? What then? Do I live an unfulfilling life? Am I a failure?” The text moves on to talk about how because we live in a fallen world, not everyone can live out their calling fully in this life, and sometimes we have to take jobs that we don’t like in order to survive and keep going towards a larger goal… but I don’t want to be one of those people. I know God has given us all a general call to follow Him and to spread His name, but sometimes it’s REALLY hard to do that when we see absolutely no plan for HOW we are to go about it. Then there is all the evidence in our lives of the times we’ve failed to follow that call already, and the dread that maybe we won’t be able to change….

ANYWAY, sorry I seriously just went off on a terrible tangent there of my own recent thoughts/ponderings… I suppose I should move onto the PROMT.

Who are some of the audiences for whom we feel the pressure to perform?  Given these pressures, how can students perform for an audience of one?

Oh goodness, there are a lot, aren’t there? Parents, teachers, peers, ourselves…I think I shall focus on that last one if I might.

While our personal standards are often defined by the standards of our family, friends, or just the world around us, I find that they are almost always the hardest to live up to. Or at least mine are. Whatever I do, I never think it’s good enough. I can slip into this rut where all I can see of myself is my failures, and it’s quite depressing. However, before an Audience of One, as the book suggests we don’t have to worry about this. It’s not really the fact that we have an audience of One, although they does do a lot when so many conflicting requests are brought to us by outside sources. Nevertheless, I think that WHO that One is makes all the difference. Because really, if I think “The only standard I have to live up to is God’s” then I’m pretty much screwed – I’m in waaaaaaay deeper trouble than if I had to worry about mine and my parents and my peers. At least their’s are humanly possible! The IMPORTANT thing to remember is “The only standard I have to live up to is that of the God who loves and saved and forgave me.”

We have real freedom in Christ and we have the freedom to relax, even in the knowledge that we are sinners and are mortal and fall short. Because no matter what, God saved us. He KNOWS that we fall short and we can’t make it on our own. It turns out that our Audience of One is the most forgiving audience that we could ever hope for! Now this does not mean we should forget about the Audience, but that we should try to please Him even more, because we CAN! It really blows my mind that we puny little human beings can PLEASE God Almighty. Not on our own, obviously, but with His help we can – and that’s really astounding. As such, we should live in a way to do so to our utmost – to do what we were born to do, which is to live out our being made in God’s image and our being redeemed by His power and grace.

As for practical examples a student could use: Stop freaking out because you didn’t get an A! God knows that you’re human and you have struggles - he does NOT require you to get an A. Rest in Him and know that no matter your own standards, your parents, your teachers, or your school’s, He still loves you. Because of this, feel free to take time off of your studies to follow the Lord. The other day I had an essay to write and a test to study for, but instead I was simply laying out on the wet grass at 10 at night gazing up at the stars and simply reveling in awestruck wonder at God’s handiwork, and wordlessly worshipping Him. And I think that was time MUCH better spent than it would be studying. Even if I don’t get an A on that paper or test. The Audience of One – the Almighty God who made me and loves me and saved me and forgives me – is pleased. What more could I ask for?

Questions: What other standards (besides grades) do we hold ourselves to that we THINK are God’s standards, that are really our own? Or conversely: At what point are we following our own desires and claiming that they are God’s?

What? Why? Who?

(If I may steal an introductory point from Daniel Ostendorff) There is one question that plagues practically all modern college students: “What is your major?” While it is a great question that helps quickly identify not only interest but schedule, work load, certain social interaction, hopes of career, and personality, I believe there is far too much emphasis put on this query. Because were not just asking “What is your major?”, there are several more questions that go along with such a question: What will you do with it? What kind of job do you want? What kind of person are you? What do you hope to accomplish in life? All of these are implied by those four simple words. And it does not stop after college: “What is your job?” comes next, with even more implications to be made.

But should it be so? Should we really be so defined by things like major or job? Such questions are our way of characterizing and categorizing people, and are in a sense both smart and necessary. But at the same time they can make us forget that we are PEOPLE. Not jobs. But it’s not the questions’ fault – it is our entire mindset. This world defines everything we are by what we do – even in Donald Miller’s “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years”, he says that “A character is what he does”. But on this I must disagree with Miller. A character is not ONLY what he does. “What” is not the only question, and when defining a person we mustn’t simply stop with “What” they do. We must delve deeper and ask my favorite question – “Why?”

Why is that your major? Why do you want that job? Why are you doing that? Why do you want what you want? All of these are, in my mind, much more important questions than the afore mentioned “what” questions, because they reveal something about the actual person – their intentions, motivations, and inner thought on the subject. And in the end, the answers to these “why” questions make a big difference; Two different people could be doing the same thing for different reasons. A person might say they are a political science major, or a politician, and that might tell you a little. But if you ask “why?” they might say because it pays well, or they want power, or the want to help people in need. And each of these would tell you a little bit more. All of these “Why” questions, however, ultimately lead even further down to another form of inquiry: “Who?”

“Who are you?” That is the question we really mean to ask. And it is a very meaningful question indeed. Because who you as is more than what you do and more than why you do it – it is a completely different kind of question, and can be very hard to answer. For the Christian, however, it does not even stop there. In order to answer the question “Who am I?” We must first answer another: “Who is God?” And this is when we really get down to it. Because it doesn’t matter what your job is or why you have that job or even who you are unless all of it is in relation to something bigger and more meaningful than your little mortal helpless self.

This is because of who God is; the source of all creation and identity and meaning and life. As John Calvin said in his Institutes “Without the knowledge of God there is no knowledge of self”. As image bearers of God and redeemed souls we must not define ourselves by our actions. If we did so, we would all be damned. But through the freedom of Christ we have an identity separate from our actions – one that has real meaning, and is founded is God himself.

All this to say – In Os Guinness’ book Rising to the Call Oswald Chambers is quoted to have said “The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him.” That is, we are so deceived by this world’s emphasis on works that we put more stock and importance on our work for Christ that we forget our true identity. We are so concerned with our action and intentions – our what and why – that we forget that all that really matters is who. Who we are and who Christ is. It is easy for a Christian to become concerned with reaching the lost and giving to the poor and such ministries that they overwork themselves and sacrifice their own spiritual well being and focus on Christ. We focus on what WE are doing and not what CHRIST has done. All of our service to Christ is a response – it is never an action by itself.

There is no way that any action we make can make God love us more – He already loves us with the utmost love – an inconceivable amount. Our service to Him is not to win an award or to prove our love to Him, but to grow closer to His love by experiencing it in our lives – by loving others and having faith. He does not need our service – we do. 

“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” Phil. 1:9-11 (NIV)

I’ve been asked to follow this with some practical examples. Here’s an easy one: becoming overcommitted to serving the community (whether the city, the school, a club, or just a group of friends) to the point where it no longer brings you closer to God. Doing hard work and being tired is different than doing more work that you should. Being tired allows you to rest in God and gain His strength. Working hard exercises you the way he made you. Over extending yourself, on the other hand, is draining without refilling. It’s a different level for everyone, so it is hard to define. For a college student it might be becoming involved with too many campus ministries and groups because they all do good work for God. God may want you to just focus on your studies, and that’s ok.

Questions: How do you know how much is too much? What happens when you don’t feel like you’re growing closer to God? How do you know what He wants you to persevere through and what He wants you to leave for someone else to accomplish?

Answers: I don’t know. With God’s help, maybe I can strive to find out.

Kel

The Want of Something to Want

I’d like to start off by saying how much I am absolutely LOVING Donald Miller’s “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years”. The book is truly eye-opening and the more relatable story I have ever heard – Miller understands things that I thought no one else felt. And I love his laid-back style. Anyway, on with the questions…

Chapter 20 of Miller’s book ends with a fascination statement: “It made me wonder if the reason our lives seem so muddles id because we keep walking into scenes in which we, along with the people around us, have no clear idea what we want.” This made me think: What do I want? (Ok, so the blog prompt I’m supposed to be responding to helped a little) It really is a good question, because to tell the truth I’m not sure I have an answer. What is it I want? I could give all kinds of answers here: Maybe I want to live a good life, or I want to be remembered, I want to bring God glory, I want to be a blessing to others, I could want all kinds of things. But what is it I DO want? The more I think about it the more I think the answer is this: I want to know what it is that I want and what it is that I should want. I know that’s kinda confusing. Right now, if I’m honest, I want to 1.) Be done with my homework and have a really long break 2.) Not get up early tomorrow, and 3.) Be able to do something about Moffat’s absolute ruining of my fav. TV show Doctor Who… but none of those three will happen any time soon. In the long run I want to 1.) Grow closer to God and discover what His plans are for me 2.) DO something about said plans as I discover them, 3.) Pursue my interests,  and 4.) Loose some (ok a lot) of weight. I know that last one seems different from the others, but it is the most physically obtainable and perhaps the area in which I have failed the most, despite having so much help and opportunity.

Oh, I’m supposed to be answering more than one question… the other is basically “how have you changed since coming to JBU?” And my answer to that is: Well obviously I’ve changed somewhat – I’ve changed my major from psychology to philosophy. I’ve changed my sleeping habits a bit and I’ve had a much tighter schedule. I’m still just as rubbish at remembering things as I used to be, I’ve stopped watching TV save for a few Doctor Who and Top Gear episodes when I can get them to load on MegaVideo… I’ve grown a lot more bogged down by all of this homework but at the same time I’ve found more time than ever to simply enjoy reading or being with friends. I think this change – this leap into the uncomfortable – has been good for me, spiritually, as it’s forced me to really rely on God and has opened my eyes even more to Him and His people. But at the same time it seems to have worn me out, as I’m already praying for a break and some real rest.

So in short: Want= To find what it is I should be doing, Change= More tired, eyes more open than ever to God.

Kel

Fifteen Minutes

When most people try to think up important memories they try to think back to their childhood to see what they can recall; funny, sad, or even not that special. But one of the moment that I know I will always remember happened not that long ago. It was my final presentation of High school. At my school, a small privet/home school in Texas, instead of having a graduation ceremony each student in the class gives their final presentation; a fifteen minute speech on the subject of their choice to illustrate what they had learned over the past four years in school. I remember sitting there practically shaking with fright, knowing that it was almost my turn. I had been preparing for weeks, but I would never know how well I had done until I stood before that terrifying microphone and opened my mouth. And then the teacher called my name and the room clapped politely and I walked up onto the stage. My speech began with a quote from Hamlet and concerned the uniquely human nature of mankind. Perhaps I remember it because I did indeed get the best grade in the class, or because everyone there said I did so well, but even more than that I remember it because I felt that for once I had done something right. I felt that I had something that I did that I could look back on and be proud of. I had accomplished something important to me. Or as Donald Miller might say: I wanted something and overcame conflict to get it. In that moment I lived a good story and I found myself doing what I knew God wanted me to do.

I’m supposed to keep this short so I’ll stop there, but here are two questions to finish off: What is the difference between success and accomplishment? And if you had to define your life’s passion and interest in fifteen minutes what would you say?

Kel